Getting Older

Getting older, TIME

Is the changing world confusing for you ? If so this article will probably give you some tools to face it more clearly.

Look around you and all you see is change. Your mobile bought yesterday is already old and the new models are luring art you from shopping windows and screaming advertisements. Technology is changing so fast that you think you are running behind and cannot follow the new trends. Some people will get frustrated of the speed and want to catch up at everything.

Time and environment has changed our perception, no longer is age a save heaven. Age is not defined by a particular number. Some people are grandparent at the age of 40 while others will never see a grandchild. Many woman are not married at the age of 35 while in the past woman at that age had already grown up children. Man and woman are focused on career and are no longer interested in permanent relationships while parents focus on having grandchildren to continue the family “dynasty”. Internet did speed up fast relationship marketing and contacts are often fast, full of passion and short, fulfilling a physical and mental need. In these relationships women often pulls the short end of the string.

Everybody has private thoughts on aging. Most people are worried of the days to come. Some people take faith in their own hands and start trying to control the aging process. In our AGE CONTROL philosophy the life coach teaches that age is an opportunity and not a danger. We introduced life coaches in 1989, when the world was in a complete turmoil and many people lost vision of the future. The goal of a life coach is to assist you to get around with the aging process in a positive way. A life coach is an experienced person who received a special training to mentally and physically advise.

Aging goes with a changing body and mind. The body grows from immature to mature. After this a period of stabilization and important improvements comes to end with a decline.  The start of “decline” is different for men and women. In literature the time that is considered “decline” for woman is the moment they lost virility.  For man it is set around 35 years of age. The speed of decline is depended on the physical activities of the period before. A body needs to move to stay in shape, to be healthy. Moving is different from sport. You move to keep the machine (the body) going to prevent it will start to be rusty. When you stop to move, like when you stop a machine, the structure will start to get stiff. We call this a rusty system. A stiff system reduces neural transmission (your nerve system falls back) and diminish blood circulation.

But aging is mainly a mind over body matter. Your mind controls your body, your activity. Most people start to be aware of becoming older when they reach the age 30. Specially woman suddenly realize that their lifespan becomes limited. The reason behind this is the limited virility time of the woman.  At age 30 she realizes that she only has around 10 years to go to get children. In current situation many woman in China are still working on a career at that age. Man, on the other hand, are often not mature enough to start a family. This will worsen in the generations to come due to the spoiling of parents of their sons. In today’s society we see a worsening of the gender age gap and young woman are looking for (much) older man. This is an unhealthy situation that is not good for future generation. This choice is not a matter of physic but of the mind.

Time is essential in life. We all live on the clock. Realize how often do you watch the time ? How interested are you really to KNOW the time ? Looking at the time has become a routine, nearly a ritual. We make appointments with time and dates, we use diaries every day, we make plans with time as our guidelines, we are living on (borrowed) time. But how long ago did we start to take time this serious. How did our ancestors use time ? Were they aware that there timespan on earth was so limited. Imagine that in the past human only reached the age of 40. A person over 40 was considered an exception. A person who dies in current time at the age of 40 is an exception. Our lifespan is nearly doubled in yet only 100 years. We live longer and seem to be more in control of natures time. But the more we gain “control” of time , the more we are aware of it. We have become scare of losing time, wasting time and yet we do so all day, every day.

To combat the negative effects of the aging process we need to be flexible and consistent in improving, maintaining and revalidating the body and the mind at all time. The first step in aging is accepting that aging is inevitable, it is not a matter of choice but of faith. Acceptance is very important and gives way to understanding. Every age level has its beauty. When young the chase of love is most important, to make a career is great and your energy seems unlimited. Over 30 your beauty is the knowledge of life the experience and (physical) maturity. Most women are much more beautiful after their 30’s than before, pity that men hardly realize that !

After 50 a new look on life fills the mind, a new energy that brightens your day. Wisdom of life, often the fact that kids leave the home and you can consider the mistakes you have made. At 50 the energy is still enough to cover the day’s work and the evening to relax. After 70 we are able to look back at life itself, look at what we did learn and for some people what we have reached. Satisfaction is a matter of accepting and expectation. When we are young we have a lot of expectations. Our parents and family also put expectations on us. For Chinese the external expectation feels like pressure and often a force. This heavy expectation can work as a burden to most and as an energizer to some.

The first step of growing up is acceptation that expectation must comply with reality. In China many people have a too high expectation and will burn out before even reaching the age of 30. Health is build on expectation and action. Our mind makes the expectation based on our internal and external influences. After that action must follow. When you want to become director of a company you need to have special capacities to get there. Not only your abilities as a hard working person but also a social networking artist. To get to the top we have to walk the stairs. Each step is a part of our expectations and will take some time. When we constantly look up to the top of the stairs we get frustrated and our mind makes the body stressed and sick. But when we focus on one step a time and we are successful we will feel the joy of success and a good influence on our health. A positive mind, positive results are important to a healthy lifestyle and also improves the quality of the aging process. Our aging process is divided into time spaces. For every step in life you need to take a limited time. We call that deadline walking. Our life deadlines are realistic, possible to reach within a planned time. Reaching a goal brings the satisfaction in life.

We all want to control time, to do this we need to let time work for us. Most people think of a clock or a watch when they think of time. Some people use time as status, they buy a beautiful watch to show fortune. Other people control time via their mobile. Many people have multiple ways to keep track of time. But keeping track of time is not the same as controlling time. Most people have become a slave of time. They work, forced or not, from dawn to dust and seem never to have enough time to finish work. Work consumes most of our time. A Chinese worker often just do what the boss asks. Follow orders. Most of these orders are inefficient and time consuming, hardly ever are these orders carefully planned or clear.

Time can be made usefully when we make clear plans. Efficiency in life saves time. You only can be efficient when you know exactly what you want. Being clear is efficient. My advice is to put more time in preparing a task. After you get an order, make clear to the superior what the order is. Just write it down and ask his / her permission to execute the order precisely as is written down. Doing so saves time in communication and later you cannot get arguments. Following orders becomes more plan directed and time efficient. Another positive thing is that your superior cannot pull back and tell that the order was different and you made a mistake. Being clear is also good in relationships. In a relationship you can set goals and talk about when to realize them. Having a good set of goals also makes a relationship stronger.  Good goals and strong time limits will give less stress. Everybody knows that time and stress are connected. The more you need to do in less or unknown time will increase stress, irritation and that has a direct effect on health and aging.

Time is essential in our aging process. The better we plan, also the micro planning, the more time we will have for leisure and relax. You have to spend time wisely to get older in a better health. If you have any questions or remarks please write to  (we need an email address here for Chinese)

Arnaud van der Veere